What Is Time Anyway — Pandorah's Box

Well hey there Summer time people. Are all you heat-loving folk super excited that it is officially the first day of Summer? I'm going to try and love it, I really am. But I don't love the heat...I am a Fall and Winter girl at heart.

But look at this girl would ya? Hopefully this deflects your rage away from me and my anti-summer views :) also, don't mind her kind of dirty face. We clean it 10 times a day, but she is old and has let herself go these days and I say, SAME GIRL SAME.

So what have y'all been up to? Leave a comment and tell me, because I'm actually interested. I have just been living life, in case you were interested! This day I had to go and get a phlebotomy at the hospital, and I thought the fog was really nice. I kind of love grey days like that.

And here I am getting said phlebotomy. Always a fun time I tell you.

They used to give out choco milk afterwards, and ask my brother who also has to get phlebotomy's....it is the BEST tasting thing after getting a bunch of blood drained out of you. Not sure why, science maybe, but I am not lying. They don't give you that sweet chocolate nectar anymore though. Just juice, which is still nice but not the same thing.

I must have been feeling myself on this day. The black and white helps. Plus, its #NationalSelfieDay! A day we all get to celebrate how narcissistic we've all become!

There have been some crazy ass storms here this Spring. I work in a condo and the wind was so bad during one that it shattered a glass balcony. Almost the exact second I walked outside. I had to pick glass out of my hair, but thankfully it wasn't any worse than that!

Went and visited my parents for Mother's Day, and my sister and I stopped at Krispy Kreme on the way. Now, I'm not a KK connoisseur (even if those ARE my initials too!), but damn...they have a strawberry glaze one that is just the absolute tits. I'm sure you aficionados out there knew of this, I did not until recently. It's a good thing there isn't a Krispy Kreme anywhere near me.

She wanted to come (she didn't. She just wanted to sit in my suitcase).

Haha. Dave gets a text like this once a week at least. My Fitbit tracks my sleep and because I have times (a lot of times) where I am a shitty sleeper, I take a screenshot and send him a text like this, so he'll feel really sorry for me and realize what a martyr I am for keeping my shit together (I don't at all).

Look at how cute he is though. Our faces have changed a little bit since we started 'going out'. Ha! Remember that term? Do people still use it these days? I am terrified of the thought of ever having to date again (DO YOU HEAR ME DAVE? I'm sure he just got a shiver down his spine). Like, how do you even do it? Do 40-year-olds have a different old person app they have access to where there are no shocking D pics allowed? UGH! It stresses me out and I don't even have to do it.

Awww, my two favorite guys. Dave brought me over to John's so I could spend the night. It was the 'Royal Wedding' the next morning, and yes, we woke up at 5:00AM to watch it. Not because we are psycho over it all (well I don't know about John), but because why the eff not? We hung out, drank, ate, drank some more, went to sleep, woke up, and drank. It was a blast.

My bed for the night. The 2 hours that I got to sleep that is haha.

My bed fellows who had no interest in actually cuddling with me when it was time to go to sleep.

And here we are, still dark out, but awake. I got a text from John at around 5:15AM saying, "I'm terrified to come out there and wake you up". AHAHA! He is a smart man, although I was awake.

And to celebrate the nuptials of people we don't know and will never know, we drank REAL early in the morning. My level of tiredness on this day afterwards was EXCEPTIONAL. From lack of sleep, drinking too much the night before, drinking first thing in the morning....Jesus, I am not a spring chicken anymore. It took me two days to recover from this one. Not a hangover, but an I'm-old-and-can't-do-this-anymore-over. But it was a lot of fun and I'd do it again :)

He made brekkie. I was so grateful. I love you John!

Other than a few days last week when it was 39C (102F), the weather has been gorgeous. If it stayed warm and breezy all summer long, I'd love it. But we all know it won't. It will be tropical rain forest levels of heat and humidity and everyone will be miserable and stinky. I do love the sunshine though, I miss it in the winter when we haven't seen it for what feels like a thousand years.

I mean come ON

💚

Yes to attempting to smell halfway decent all summer. And yes to gift certificates!

Dave discovered this beer and fell in love. So, because he is a sweetheart, he brought his discovery home. I loved it less, but it was still very tasty, and I appreciated every sip (too much?).

My boss gave me whiskey. Do people think I drink too much or something? Yes, there is a lot of damn ice sue me.

Dave and his brother went canoeing and the Macedonian in me has to make sure everyone is fed and happy. And the cat in Tuna had to make sure she oversaw all the fine details.

Felt like a mom making these.

Was kind of sick for a few days a couple of weeks ago, but this one was a great nurse. Why is she so cute!

Why is she so cute!!??? I can't handle these levels of emotion.

So, it was my 5-year-old nephew's birthday earlier this month, and in typing 'cool toys for 5-year-old boys' into Amazon and searching around for a bit, this little gem of a guy came up. HA! CAME UP! Didn't even have to think hard about that one. HA HARD! Oh no, I've gone down a rabbit hole of perviness. Anyway, when you zoomed in a bit, it even had a pee hole. I was like WHAT AMAZON.

Of course I had to share this with everyone I knew. When Dave saw it he sent me a text back pointing out the Pattern description. PEN-NIS. EXHAUSTED. I can't it's too much. Hahah. If you were ever afraid of ordering something from a porn store because your neighbors might see the box, here you go. Although I am sure they have WAY better choices on Amazon. I mean, it's only like an inch and a half in height.

Ok weird, next photo segways into going to see my parents. We went down to London last weekend to visit for: Father's Day! It was great. My sister's cats got under the blanket with me when I took a nap, even though it was 3000 degrees in that room. So I had to text my sister a picture with the lumps named because wouldn't you? Or are we weird. Don't answer that.

And these last two pictures are from last night and the night before. So we are current. And I am sorry for leaving for so long, I'll try to never do it again but I am a boring old whore now.