Batshit Crazy

So I have been having A LOT of trouble sleeping lately. Which isn't that weird because I used to have crazy insomnia when I was a teenager (from all the drugs I was doing, I'm convinced), which then bled into my early twenties (sans any kind of drugs. This is sad), and then it kind of evened out where I have bouts every once in a while. Still not a good sleeper, still sleep like a freaking baby who is finicky and wakes up all the time and needs a boob, but there you go! Welcome to my sleep deprived brain. Run on sentence city.

So I figured because I probably need to get some exercise on account of being a supreme fat blob (we're talking Jabba the Hutt here) over the Christmas holidays and the two weeks of my vacation before that, I have been doing yoga that past few days in my living room. Love the yoga. It puts me right every time. Except I haven't got to the part yet when it helps me with sleeping...

Of course some of it could be that Dave is still sick and is up all night tossing and turning and getting up and well, breathing. EVERYTHING wakes me up. A cat sighing wakes me up. I wish I was kidding. Or it could be that I am harboring a lot of worry and fear about my parents, my dad specifically, since he just had a heart attack. He doesn't look great and it worries me a lot. My mom too. Too much stress that I guess I am not really dealing with properly because it is keeping me awake. And getting all up in my dreams.

I had a tsunami dream the other night. According to those awesome (awful) dream dictionaries on the internets, I am suppressing emotions and feelings that I need to deal with ASAP. Ever notice how they all say the same thing? Although a few years ago I was having tornado dreams EVERY NIGHT and apparently that means you have a lot of pent up rage. Oh and I did. I DID. 

Don't be fooled, it's decaf. Because I am insane.

So, this is me. Awake for 28 hours, not sure what my own name is anymore. I just could not sleep last night. Not a single wink. And by the time 6AM rolled around and I WAS tired enough to sleep, I was like, fuck it, what's the point. I'll just go to work and listen to David Bowie all day.

So that's what I did.

Here's hoping I get some sleep tonight. I bought Dave some Advil Cold and Sinus so maybe (I) he can be more comfortable tonight. Here's hoping.