The Week of Shit

So I keep talking about this shitty week I had last week.  Of course it had to do with work.  We were told we were having a meeting in the afternoon on Wednesday, and we NEVER have meetings at that time.  The only time we have meetings then is if they let people go.

And lo and behold, that is exactly what happened.  SIX people.  A few of those my friends.  We are only an office of 12, and 4 from the office were canned so now, there are 8 left.

It blew chunks.  All week the mood around there was at an all time low.  it was like we all knew something was going to happen, and it was emotionally draining.  And then on Wednesday when it did, it fucking sucked.  It was like a funeral home in there, with higher ups attempting to look sincere and sad about things but instead they just looked like they needed to take a giant shit.

It was all just so cold.  You have these people who work for you, put entire years into your company, and they are expendable.  Don't think I am naive, I know I am too.  And that is why I don't put anything into my job, because it is a job, not my life.  And I know that when the time comes for it, I too will be gone. Does this scare me? No.  It will be a kick in the ass to do what I want, and wouldn't be the end of the world.  The meeting we had afterwards after the 4 people left was stupid: higher ups again, insincerely trying to act like they gave a shit, and one woman in particular, and all of you who work in an office know who I am talking about: the one hired to talk bullshit big corporate words that don't even make sense.  Like a cyborg who hasn't yet been programmed with compassion and never will, and loves to use words like 'alignment' and 'efficiencies' and 'growth'.  Fuck your growth; have some compassion.  These people are humans, not outdated computers that belong on the side of the road somewhere because their usefulness has come to an end.

I couldn't even fathom thinking about making food that day.  So we went out to eat, when really all I wanted was a beer.  So I had one and felt a bit better. And then we went grocery shopping and I emotionally shopped and bought way too much food.

My mom said it best when she said that it's hard for the people left behind too. Not financially, no, but in other ways.  Because your friends and co-workers are gone, and something changes when that happens. People become weary and don't trust the establishment anymore.  Good thing I never did.  Thanks for making me anti-establishment and authority hating dad!

Wednesday only solidified my life plans even more.  Gave me even more drive to get started.

To all of those people who woke up for that place and came in everyday and did their jobs and never said boo, you will all be good.  Life will be good on the outside. I will join you one day, and we can party and be free of corporate b.s. and trying to please people who can never be pleased.  Ever.

I feel for them. Only because they have to look elsewhere for a pay check, not because they are gone from that place.  

Life goes on!