Sh*t Son, That Was Fun: 2 — Pandorah's Box

To read part one of the fun, click here.

After having a few drinks, it was time to eat. Of course in our intellectualized state, we came to the conclusion that McDonald’s would be a wonderful dinner to consume. Sigh. This is why I can't drink often. Because I can rationalize ANYTHING when I am drinking. Eat shitty greasy food and undo all your hard, healthy work for the past week? Why not!! You only live once right?

So we drunk walked to our nearest set of golden arches.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION WHILE WATCHING THIS VIDEO. There is much laughing. Of the drunk kind. Which means I, ahem, snort. And possibly sound amazing of course!! Ugh. I am doing this for you guys. I also dance, which is (embarrassing) wonderful to see.

Felt like royalty in this chair. Maybe though, it's because of all the royal wedding stuff that was going down. We watched the wedding at John's because he had recorded it. Well, fast-forwarded through it. I really just wanted to see Kate Middleton's dress. I thought she looked beautiful. At one point I stated that I wanted to be Queen and John said, "That's great Katherine! It's good to have goals!". Hmm....remind me to have him taken care of when I become Queen.

God we are like two children. Two, awesome children.

This next part brought to you by TIME. John and I share many things in common, one of those things being that we CANNOT wake up in the morning. Like, I just can't. Fuck it's been a lifelong battle. I am lucky because I can sort of T-1000 my way into work in the mornings and not get caught for my late start times, but John is not so lucky in that regard with his job. So he MAKES SURE he get's up in the morning. How, you ask? Behold:

Alarm clock 1, in his kitchen cupboards.

Alarm clock 2, under his bathroom sink.

Alarm numbers 3 & 4, on his dresser.

Alarm numbers 5, 6 & 7, on his bedside table.

Alarm number 8 on his opposite bedside table.

And last but not least: alarm number 9 on his wrist. Holy crap! Was it really only 9:44PM at that point? Wow. We had already lived through so much at that point. It's funny how time moves when you drink. You think it's soooooo late and that you are such a young whippersnapper bad ass when really...it's only 9:44PM.

So John made us some shots. Some over-sized shots that I had to take down in two gulps instead of one. Yeesh.

My wariness is apparent here. John assured me that I would be able to take it in one gulp (ummm), and I assured him that he is indeed, a giant pervert. Oh wait, that's me.

This next part is brought to you by 10 years ago. These are pictures from our first year of university, when we first met. John said he thought I was a clingy baby. Psshhh...so maybe I had just finished crying when our first house meeting was called. Eff you! My parents had just left me there, with the likes of YOU John! Who wouldn't cry?

Yup. There I am, that's me.

Because I was the oldest on the floor (I was 20) I quickly became known as 'mom'. What do you mean? Was it because of my lesbian mom hair? Or the fact that I forced everyone to take the picture below and to 'SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT'? I don't know what you are talking about.

This guy loved coming into my room after he had just taken a long run, and put on my clothes while he was all sweaty. Hmm...alpha male territory shit or maybe he wanted to be me? Just wondering. Who wouldn't want lesbian mom hair?

My first tattoo. Well, real tattoo, like not done with a safety pin and ink.

In the picture below, I am the second from the right, giving the peace sign. You might wonder why we are all naked. On weekends, when nothing was going on, we would cut the power to our floor (well, I would, easy shit) and turn on ALL the faucets in the boys washroom to SCALDING. We would all get into our bathing suits and light a bunch of candles and get shit faced in our home made sauna. Weren't we clever? This is what your money pays for parents out there. Because this is the REAL education you get in university.

Look at how cute John is. He is beside the guy giving the finger. These sessions usually ended in shaving cream fights and assholes jumping on my bed covered in shaving cream. Good times.

See? Lesbian mom hair. I love it.

And this is me now. Chester the Molester. Holy perv face. Dave told me he thinks I look better now, ten years later. What a guy eh?

Looking back on when we younger and stupider. Maybe.

So much more sophisticated now.

Right?

Little Beaner. Seriously so cute.

This is what best friends are made of. Chilling out, watching crack on t.v, and having a few drinks. Who could ask for more?

Is someone getting a little sleepy? Yeah I was too. I planned to leave at a decent time and I followed through. I left at 12:30AM, and what SHOULD have been a 35-40 minute trek home took me almost two hours because of our asshole public transit. They make their own rules and shut down early and don't tell anyone. Cool.