Visuals

So, I am visual type person.  In the worst way possible.  When someone tells me that their gaping wound is disgusting, I can't really put enough onus on just the word...I need to see it.  And I will ask to do so, all the while with a feeling of dread and a look of terror written all over my face about what I am about to see.  And then the image will haunt me for a lifetime.  

I was a smoker for ten years.  I tried to quit 3 times before it finally worked (6 years smoke free yay!).  You know what made me quit right then and there?  Looking at pictures of diseased lungs.  And then picturing my lungs as blackened bits of flesh of which I swear I could hear the sound of each piece of healthy lung shrivel up and fall off into my body cavity to never be found again.  So gross.

I used to be a huge chip fanatic (or crisps my lovely British friends).  When I stopped eating anything that has MSG in it, well that cut out about 95% of the chip brands out there.  Because I couldn't eat what I loved, I replaced it with sweets, which we all know aren't ANY better.  So thinking about the possible cavities I was brewing in my mouth did nothing to make me stop eating all that sugar.  I can THINK about it all I want...if I can't see it, it doesn't exist right?

Well, today I went to the dentist for the first time in 6 years (GAH! I know! I couldn't afford it all that time!), and I have FOUR CAVITIES.  I almost passed out when the dentist told me.  And then he showed me my x-rays, and there they were...four invasive, nasty bits of tooth that are all I can think about now.

I need to take a stand here folks.  I grew up always eating 'junk food'.  Now, don't get me wrong, I ate healthy for the main meals of the day, but we always got junk food as a 'treat' for eating our dinner, or for snacks at school.  I think this is wrong.  I am not a parent so I am not going to judge because I have NO idea, believe me, but I think it was wrong for ME.  Because now I 'reward' myself with junk food, and that is TERRIBLE.  Fast food and super sweet/ salty snacks are not a TREAT.  They are a death sentence.  

I have really started to feel this way as of late.  I think it is so unfair that the fast food industry are allowed to make commercials for their 'delicious' food and push it as if they are drug dealers.  What's next people?  Selling heroin on t.v?  People feel good doing that shit too right?  So why would we think that THIS stuff is ok for us to consume?

Now I am not trying to get all high and mighty on anyone here, because I EAT THIS CRAP.  I just need to stop.  I have been trying like crazy over the past few weeks to convince myself I don't want it, even if it is easier and I am too tired to cook.  But it is so hard.  It really IS like a drug. Where are the food police when you need them?

So what's on my agenda tonight folks?  Looking at some pictures of arteries clogged with plaque and fat perhaps?.  Did you even know that your arteries can become clogged with plaque?  I didn't, but boy oh boy, do I ever know this now.  Do yourself a favor and DON'T Google that image if you don't want to barf.

I am hoping this sparks a change in the way I think about food.  I want to be on this planet for a long, long time.