Two separate conversations between Dave and I this morning:
Me: So I don't think I want to cook anything major tonight. Are you ok with soup and bagels?
Dave: Yeah. Great. That sounds like a MARVELOUS dinner.
Me: Are you being sarcastic? Because I will kill you.
Dave: Great. It sounds MARVELOUS.
Me: Would you feel better if I sat naked at the dinner table? Would you like that? And then when I bend over the table to reach for something I drip my tit into my soup?
Dave: UMMMMM.....WHAT?
Me: Err no. I meant to say dip my tit.
Yes. Because that's better.
Conversation number two:
Dave: Hey! That looks like the dog from Edward Scissorhands. The one with the hair in front of its eyes.
Me: Yeah! Or the dog from Sesame Street!
Dave: What dog?
Me: You know, the one that chases the kids during the end credits? When like 15 of them all hide behind ONE tree?
(As we are having this conversation we are walking and a dude is frantically trying to catch our eye to solicit to us. I do not see him but Dave does).
Dave: So, we are having a SERIOUS conversation here right?
Me: What??? Are you dissing our conversation? WTF?
Dave: No! It's just you know, THAT guy. So he doesn't think he can get our attention.
Me: Oh. I thought you were totally being an a-hole about the Sesame Street dog. I loved that dog.
Moral of the story is go to sleep folks.
